Turning 20: Reflections on Two Decades

This post isn’t totally skincare related, but as I’m turning 20 today I felt like sharing some thoughts, ramblings, internal questioning about what it means to no longer be a teenager… Welcome to my mind :) I started my instagram page, and subsequently my blog, as an outlet for not only my creativity but for me in general, so here goes.

I’ve been thinking about where I am now, and how I got here. I’ve just finished my third semester at Georgetown University, am progressing quickly towards my degree in International Politics, and will be taking even more exciting classes in the spring. I have some plans for post-grad, ones that make me feel invigorated about what I want to put out into the world - and are completely different from what I used to think I wanted to do. I’m about to start my second season of competing at the Winter Equestrian Festival, which is basically horse paradise - and a high level competitive circuit that just a few years ago I never would have dreamed I’be be participating in. Life is feeling pretty incredible right now.

But it really hasn’t always been this way. My first semester of Georgetown was incredibly rough on me, academically and personally. I struggled with feeling completely inept at this rigorous university where it seemed like EVERYONE was smarter than me. At multiple points I was convinced I was going to fail out, and had to reorient my reliance on grades to define my self worth, something I had unfortunately learned at my competitive high school. I struggled to make friends (something that has been a lifelong challenge for me, if I am being honest.) I didn’t feel like I had a home at my school, whereas everyone else’s lives seemed pretty “Instagram perfect.” I’ve struggled for a long time with loving myself and feeling confident enough to be truly authentic. Both horses and creating my skincare page have helped me in my journey towards feeling comfortable in my own skin, and I am grateful for everything that’s happened along the way, even the not so shiny spots.

Originally this was going to be a deep reflection about life, but I got to looking at photos and realized just how many incredibly fun things have happened in my first twenty years on this earth! So I’m making this post a celebration of every opportunity I’ve been lucky to receive - and to say how excited I am for the future. If this gets kinda random, I apologize - but I hope you enjoy a brief look back at what’s gone into, well, me!

Where my love for horses apparently began :)

My amazing family. I would not be where I am today without them - even through all the ups and downs, they have made sure I am supported in every opportunity I’ve chosen to pursue. Can’t love them enough for that.

Theatre was pretty much my life in high school… and while my passions lie elsewhere now, I’ll forever be grateful for what it taught me about commitment, dedication, and community.

It also taught me to laugh at myself! (Yes, I did have a duck on my head)

Prom :)

And I graduated from high school!

Mario, my first horse and the one I came back to when I returned to the sport that brings me so much joy.

Jasper, who took me to my first rated shows.

After high school I ran away to Snowmass for a few months to be a ski instructor!

It was my first time living on my own, my first real job, my first time trying to feed myself (spoiler: a LOT of microwave meals occurred!). It was wonderful, and I’m grateful that my parents let me take time off before university to just not be a student.

Then I came to Georgetown! There’s been a bit of an adjustment period but I think I am finally finding my footing here.

WEF with Daisy last year - a horse and experience that has completely changed my life for the better.

I’m sharing the highlight reel because I want to turn 20 with positive thoughts in my mind. That is not to say there haven’t been dark moments - there have. I have struggled - with confidence, with academics, with feeling alone. But even the not so shiny moments have helped to shape me into the person I am. I have been incredibly fortunate to have some unforgettable connections and experiences, things I would not trade for anything in the world. From falling headfirst into the theatre department at my high school, to traveling to Germany for a theatre exchange program, to dancing the night away at my Sweet 16, to visiting a multitude of countries including Australia, New Zealand, and Spain, to working as a ski instructor, and finally landing at Georgetown University and starting to find my footing, it has been an incredible journey.

At 20, I’m no longer a teenager. I’m almost halfway though undergrad, am taking on more adult responsibilities and am close to entering the real world. But I’m still learning so much about life. I can only hope the next twenty years are as much of an journey as these last twenty have been.

Thank you for following along :)